Nightly Ritual

Before I go to bed every night, I check on my boys. I have done this ever since Christian was a baby. I sneak into their rooms and look over them. I make sure their blankets are on them and I kiss them on the cheek. I thank God for bringing them into our lives, and I say goodnight. There have been nights where I don't do it. When I hear them stirring and I don't want to go in and wake them. Or, when I'm sick and just need to drag myself to bed. On the nights when I don't do it, I miss it. It's part of my routine, and I just love watching them sleep. They always look so peaceful and content, and that makes me happy. This ritual is especially important to me after I have had a difficult day with them. When they are trying my patience and I feel like I'm at my wits end. I can see them sleeping and be reminded of how blessed I am to have them, and that even though we struggle sometimes, there is not a moment that goes by that I wish I wasn't their mother.

My ritual has started to include another part, where I then look out the windows of our guest room and stare into the night. I relish in the silence of the night, the quiet of the neighborhood, and I feel at peace. I look at the homes across the street and I wonder what is going on inside. Are they sleeping? Are they perhaps lying awake because of some turmoil in their lives? Are they tossing and turning because of worry? I only ponder these questions about my neighbors because I know that once I lay my head on my pillow, I may not fall asleep right away. I may worry, I may toss and turn, or I may just drift off to sleep. I notice the landscape of the neighborhood and I notice how the seasons have changed in my guest room window view- from fall to winter, and soon to spring. And then I am quickly reminded of how the time is passing by.....

Dear God, thank you for today. Amen.

A New Year

I love the new year. It's such a great time to reflect on life, where I was a year ago, what I was doing, what I was expecting of myself in the coming year, how I could do better as a wife and mother, and how I could grow in my faith. I've spent some time reflecting, but spent more time being thankful for everything that the Lord gave us in 2010. This year, I'm really going to focus more on my job of being a stay at home Mom. How can I do better? One way is to have more patience with my children, and with myself. Something else I've been working on is being more mindful of the fact that my children have their own personalities- they are their own people. Sure there are things in them that I observe where I can say, "That is just like me" or "That is just like Chad", but there are many things about them that are so uniquely different, from myself, Chad, and from each other, that make them individual people. In keeping that in mind, I'm able to have more patience with them.

Something else that I'm working on is being more compassionate, understanding, and helpful. It's very easy for me to roll my eyes and dismiss people when thy say or do something that is completely unfamiliar to me, and that I don't understand. Instead, I'm trying to listen more and put myself in their shoes. What this has done is opened my eyes to not have such a narrow focus on the way I see the world, but the way others see the world, and respect others perspective, even if I don't always understand it or agree with it.

As for my personal faith journey, I really want to take time this year learning about the Incarnation. I first started thinking about this during the Advent season and I hope to study it more and try to understand it more. In doing so, I hope to get to know who Jesus was as a human, and what his life was like. The idea that a part of God was once a human being that walked the earth is miraculous.

With these thoughts in mind, I hope to make this a year of growth in many aspects of my life.