Letting Go During Lent

When Lent began, I felt strongly that I wanted to work on focusing on the Lord, and what He wanted from me, and how best I can be the person that he made me to be. I had a strong feeling that through praying, including the Rosary every day (almost), I would be led on a path which would allow me to continue to grow closer to Jesus. Never did I know that I would find the answer in letting go. I hate to be vague, but that is about as specific as I can get right now. I've had to let go of a relationship that was having a negative effect on my faith, giving me very angry, almost hateful thoughts. I have no doubt that all of this came full circle during Lent for a reason, and I have gotten many signs that letting go was the best thing. I feel so much peace now, and I've had conversations with my priests about this, and gone to Reconciliation. And, of course, I prayed and spent a lot of quiet time with God. I am left with one thought that I read in The Little Black Book, which is our Lenten book.

"Lent is when I plunge in and try to experience who I am as a baptized follower of Christ, and to enjoy the exhilaration of clearing away things that come between me and God."

Our Lent

As I begin this post, I can think of about a dozen other things that I would rather write about than Lent. I can think of some complaints to get off my chest, some concerns that I have about people in my life, some hurts that I have been feeling. The truth is, there is always SOMETHING to think about, or should I say, to worry about, or get worked up about. Things that I can't let go of (not letting go of things is one of my crosses) are not what I'm going to focus on today.

It's Ash Wednesday, and I'm excited about that. For the first time in my life, I feel really open to allowing the Holy Spirit to work in me during this time. I also felt that it was important for our whole family to be involved in Lenten activities, as we are preparing for Jesus' resurrection, and reflecting on the sacrifice that He made for us. I want my children to know of this early on, because I want them to be able to look at a Crucifix and know what it's all about. Honestly, I'm still working on figuring out what it's all about. I do feel that I am closer to "getting it" now more than ever- grasping what Jesus went through and why.

So, here are the things that we are doing for Lent, keeping in mind the elements of prayer, fasting, and almsgiving.
1.) I made a Lent calendar for us, indicating all of the Holy Days. Each day of the week has been given a special intention of someone or something that we will pray for that day. Today, the boys will help me decorate this calendar.
2.) As part of fasting, we will abstain from eating meat on the designated days, and we will also, as a family, have "No TV Fridays". This is for ALL of us. Right now the boys (mainly Christian) watch some PBS shows in the morning and will watch a DVD from the library in the afternoon- something like Thomas the Tank Engine or Bob the Builder. For me, it will be difficult to explain that this is not a punishment for him, but a sacrifice that we are making.
3.) Each day, we will contribute to our Rice Bowl with pennies. I will have the boys count something in the house, and they will put that number of pennies in the bowl. For example, counting doors or windows. If there are 13 windows, then we will put 13 pennies in.
4.) 2-3 days a week we will take something out of our pantry and put it in to a box to be donated to our church's food pantry at the end of Lent.
5.) We have a stations of the cross book, and I would like to do the stations of the cross, preferably weekly, probably on Fridays.
6.) We will go to Mass on each of the Holy Days and on Sundays.
7.) I have made a "crown of thorns" out of salt dough. The kids will paint it today and put toothpicks in it. Every time the do a good day, they can pull a toothpick out. By the time Easter comes, the idea is to have all of the toothpicks replaced by flowers.

So, that's where we're at. For me personally, I'm going to say a Rosary each day, in addition to everything else. I will also incorporate more prayer in to my daily routine. My hope is that I will be able to really listen to what God is telling me, His message for me. I am hoping for some direction regarding certain decisions in my life, and I hope to get them, but, as with anything else, all in His time.

Aside from Lent, I am now almost 26 weeks pregnant. This journey has been very special and the Lord has blessed me with feeling well, so I'm enjoying that as much as possible and taking advantage of it to get things done and do a lot with the boys. I can't wait to meet this miracle, but I'm also in no rush, as I know that I will not get this time back.