3rd Trimester

The 2nd trimester of my pregnancy was pretty smooth. I had a lot of energy, was able to sleep well, and felt a bit like "Super Mom". I knew that the time would come, though, that the energy would fade, my sleep would diminish, and I would be reminded that "Super Mom" does not exist. That time is now.

The point that I'm at right now is a difficult one. I may sound like I'm complaining here, and I'm really not- just being honest and I'm reflecting on what other mothers have felt like. Right now, I'm not feeling like a good mother, or a very good wife for that matter. And, it's frustrating because my body isn't doing what I want it to do, and is no longer capable of functioning the way I want it to. Essentially, my body is not my own right now. Simple tasks like bending over and picking up my children's toys make me short of breath. Getting off of the couch takes time. When I'm trying to sleep, I can't get comfortable because my lower back hurts, and that whole body pillow idea does not work. And by 6:00pm, I'm exhausted and so very greatful that my amazing husband is usually home or at least on his way home. My iron has been low- causing fatigue, and even though I'm taking iron supplements, the fatigue is still there. And, I'm measuring big, which means I probably have a lot of extra fluid- a condition I had with Teddy which was not a real concern, just made me all the more uncomfortable for the last 2 months of my pregnancy.

I struggle to get up in the morning, and I haven't seen my feet in a couple of months. And, when I look in the mirror, I wonder how there is any way that I can get bigger, and I worry about how that will effect my energy. If it's this low now, how will it be then? My mind is a bit frazzled, and I am more forgetful, and even more indecisive than usual.

With all of this in mind, it's very easy to feel sorry for myself, because the sum-total of all of this is that I'm just not myself. I'm really not sure where I went. And, I have to remind myself that all of this is worth it. After all, there is a human being growing inside of me; a miracle a gift. So, when I need to sit down, I'm going to sit down. When I need to sleep, I'm going to try to sleep and forget about the laundry or the dishes in the sink.