Waiting

So, it's been a couple of weeks since I have posted anything. I'm not sure where my mind has been- obviously not on this blog. These past 2 months, I've been wanting something that has not come in to my life yet. So, I'm waiting. I'm not going to mention what this "thing" is because that's not what this post is about. It's about waiting.

Chad and I have become a marriage sponsor couple through our church. What that means is that we meet with an engaged couple at least 5 times and work through a workbook with them, which covers everything from family traditions, to discussions on each others childhood, to finances. This has been a blessing for us because we have to complete the workbook as well, and discuss our answers. I love the couple that we are working with because the woman is much like me, and the man is much like Chad- only where we were about 6 years ago. It's amazing how far we've come.

As a part of this ministry, we also have a book to read, together as a couple, that discusses what marriage really is and what people often THINK it is. As I've been reading it, I find myself nodding my head in agreement with so much of it. Last night I read about waiting. I read about how in this day and age, people want instant gratification, mainly because there are so many technologies out there that allow for that. I want what I want when I want it. That's basically the mentality of so many of us today, and I'll be the first to admit that being patient is not my strong suit. I've gotten better at it, since we've had the boys. I find myself not being patient with adults, and not being patient with myself. I find myself not wanting to wait for God to act. I think to myself, "Okay God, I'm going to pray for this, and then you will give me what I want, got it?" Oh yeah, it doesn't work that way.

Waiting sucks. I struggle with it so much. I can wait in line at the bank, no problem. I can wait in traffic, and often let others go in front of me, no problem. I can wait in line at the grocery store, even with 2 screaming children, no problem. But when it comes to answers from God, I'm just not good at it. "Come on God, the clock is ticking!" Again, it doesn't work that way. God doesn't have a clock- just a plan. A plan for me- a plan for us all. And it's hard for me to wait and see what that plan is. I tell myself that in the mean time, I need to wait. I need to find His grace in this struggle of waiting. I know that. At times, I do see His grace. Other times, I want to scream at Him and say, "Alright already!!!"

So, that's where I'm at right now.