Change

I know that I want to write something today. Yet, I sit here, and stare at this computer and type these words, and not much is coming to mind. I hear the clock ticking on the wall. I hear Christian talking in his room. I hear the hum of the washing machine in the basement. Outside, I see the gray skies. The branches on our tree out front are waving at me, like a welcoming friend who you haven't seen in a while.

That's how I feel when I think of fall. I often think of fall as a friend, a warm blanket, something that is so familiar because I have never known a life without fall. Yet, sometimes it can feel unwelcoming. It's a sign of change, and change is can be tough. My life is changing. It's always changing. Sometimes the change is slow and gradual, other times it's immediate and hits me like a freight train. My boys are growing up so quickly. Everyone I know who has children who are older say to me, "enjoy this time, it goes so fast." They're right. It was 4 years ago that I was pregnant with Christian, scared out of my mind, yet excited beyond belief, not knowing that he would come in to this world on Christmas Day. 2 years ago, I was very pregnant with Teddy, scared again, and excited. I watch them and I am reminded of change.

Our dog Murphy is 7. He was just 7 weeks old when we got him. He would follow me around and was always under foot, thus resulting on me stepping on him. He would always nip at my socks, though never chewed on furniture. Now he sleeps most of the time, and has no interest in socks.

I like change, and I do try to embrace it because I have no control over it. Yet sometimes, I wish I could hit the pause button, and just stop and drink it all in. Maybe that's what I'm doing now? Maybe that's what we do when we look around, pay attention to our surroundings, listen to the quiet, and breathe? Maybe that's the pause button. I can't stop time. But maybe I can take the time more often to take a closer look at my life, and hold on to what's around me, if even for just a moment.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven—

time to give birth and a time to die;
A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted.

time to kill and a time to heal;
A time to tear down and a time to build up.

time to weep and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn and a time to dance.

time to throw stones and a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace and a time to shun embracing.

time to search and a time to give up as lost;
A time to keep and a time to throw away.

time to tear apart and a time to sew together;
A time to be silent and a time to speak.

time to love and a time to hate;
A time for war and a time for peace.